I cringe even using that word in my headline. I don’t like the word and I don’t like what it represents. A word associated with women who are labeled “bitches” or “bitchy”……..frustrates me.
Men don’t get the same label when they conduct themselves exactly the same way.
Case in point. I make a phone call to someone or approach a desk/counter and before I even can get to the subject matter, I need to make nice. You know what I mean when I say “make nice”?
“How are you? How are things going? What is new in your world?” etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
You know something? There are some rare instances when I don’t have the time to make nice. Sometimes I don’t have time to emotionally massage you before getting to the point. I don’t have time for the verbal, conversational foreplay. I can BE nice without making nice can’t I?
When I dispense with those inauthentic niceties I am labeled a “bitch” by both MEN and WOMEN.
Sometimes I am simply just very busy. I might have alot going on. I might even have someone currently on hold waiting for me to quickly gather some additional information. Perhaps when I have a wee bit more time, I will ask you about your new hair style or new car or new marriage, but right now, I don’t want to waste OUR time!
Admit it…..I AM wasting your time too aren’t I? Don’t you have something else better to do? Work to complete?
Most men do not engage in this mindless banter. They get right to the point and we expect them to get right to the point.
They are not labeled as bitches for doing the same thing. In fact, no one raises an eyebrow.
I once had a male boss who told me during a performance review that it “bothered him that I didn’t say good morning to him when I got to the office”. Never mind that he didn’t say good morning to me, he felt that I should be the one to engage FIRST.
I remember apologizing and telling him that I would try to “do better”.
Why? Why would this bother him so much?
I guess what I am saying is, “Don’t call me a bitch” because I don’t spend an inordinate amount of time waxing poetic about the morning sunrise or “Howing” you to death.
I am NOT a bitch today – I am just damn busy.
Judy
JUDY KUCHARUK 